Mathematical Quotes

Some of the most amusing things I have heard

Here is a list of some great quotes in no particular order;

• "Suppose you have a two state Markov chain with states alpha and beta, lets say that alpha is diarrhoea and beta is nausia. Now you are sitting on the toilet and wondering if in 20 mins you will be on the toilet or throwing up" - Andreas Kyprianou
• *Chucks the chalk into the air* "Well I'm off to Amsterdam" - Andreas Kyprianou
• "The order of the course has changed since these exercise sheets were produced, so I need to apply a permutation to them... non-trivial of course" - Gregory Sankaran
• "This I left as an exercise in the notes, which I shall try and do now. If I get stuck or confused, it will remain an exercise" - Ben Garling
• "This is so typical of a mathematician, 'I can save all but finitely many of you if you let me use the axiom of choice'" - John Stark
• *In a Russian accent* "Enjoy this matrix" - Victor Galaktionov